Hell Freezing Over
by schillingklaus
Summary: Meteorologians announce the hottest 4th of July ever in Seattle, but someone must have played with the weather;; Carly/Dustin, Freddie/Sam, Spencer/Zoey


**Disclaimer:** I don't own Drake & Josh or iCarly or Sailor Moon

**People:** Carly Shay, Spencer Shay, Fredward Benson, Samantha Puckett, Nevel Papperman, Reuben, Gibby, Lewbert, Quinn Pensky, Firewire, Dustin Brooks, Zoey Brooks, Megan Parker  
**Couples:** Megan/Nevel/Gibby/Reuben, Freddie/Sam, Carly/Dustin, Spencer/Zoey, Quinn/Firewire  
**Summary:** The weather reporters announce the hottest 4th of July for Seattle, but someone must have screwed it up.

Winter Surprise  
Sleepover  
Waking Up

Coolest Party Ever  
Who is Socko?  
Searching for the Reasons  
Webcast in the Snow  
Hopeless

Doom and Gloom  
Sinai Billiard  
Thawing up  
iDon't Mind

**Winter Surprise**

**Sleepover**

"May I sleep here?" Sam begged Carly in her usual manner. "You know, I don't really have a home."

"This is your home!" Carly shrugged helplessly.

Spencer nodded. "Freddy may sleep in my room. It's time for a boys' sleepover!"

Freddie cheered. Spencer had been his only male friend, apart from certain traitors.

It was a tender early summer night, just two days to go until the National Parade.

Spencer had already prepared everything for the party of Independence Day. "Guess what, you will finally get to know Socko!"

Freddie cheered. He had heard a lot about Socko's best pal, but he had never got to see him. It was one of the ultimate mysteries.

Carly and Sam were equally excited. "Maybe it's a really hot boy!" Sam and Carly beamed.

"As opposed to unhot Freddork!" Sam started her usual bickering attacks.

"Unhot is the new hot!" Freddie replied calmly.

Sam snickered and just stared menacingly at Fred.

"Apropos hot," Spencer intervened, "weather reporter Bruce Winchill from Pacific Coast Broadcasting Corporation has announced that it will be the hottest Independence Day ever!"

"Cool!" Freddie beamed.

"Yeah," Sam agreed, "as completely opposed to some uncool dork!"

Leaving all the bickering aside, Carly and Sam turned the lights off and fell fast asleep.

The same happened to Freddie and Spencer. The latter had to tell his voice-controlled lamp something in Japanese.

**Waking Up**

While still asleep, Sam felt being hungry, which was not unusual for her. She slipped out of her bed in order to walk to the fridge, fetching some spare rib. Sam loved summer time because it was the season of barbecue parties. While doing so, she noticed that Carly's clock showed 5:30. She went to the window in order to greet the morning sun. But when she opened the window, a strong gust blew snow into Sam's face. "Snow in July?" Sam knew that this could not be true. She walked up to Carly. "Hey, wake up, shake your booty!"

Carly moaned. "Why is it so cold all of a sudden?" She couldn't trust her eyes. "A blizzard? in July?" This couldn't be true. Carly yawned.

The girls donned their winter clothes.

"I'm ugly in your winter vest!" Sam complained. "Freddie will make fun of me!"

"I know," Carly replied. "But you aren't any better. Besides, how do you think Freddie will look in Spencer's winter wear?"

Sam beamed brightly.

They slipped into the boys's room and shook them awake.

Freddie and Spencer were as much surprised as the girls had been.

"Several inches of snow in July?" Freddie didn't get it.

They listened to TV morning news. And it was strange. Only Seattle had been struck by a winter surprise. There were no problems in the rest of Washington or nearby.

The four shrugged helplessly.

**Coolest Party Ever**

**Who is Socko?**

The cold weather did not budge, and the mercury string showed just 20 degrees. Freddie and Sam had indulged in a snowball battle, but, in spite of all their bickering, this wasn't much fun.

The door bell rang. Carly looked through the peep hole. A twenty-years old blonde had been waiting outside. Carly opened. "You wish?"

"My name is Zoey Brooks," the blonde intyroduced herself. "you're who?"

"I'm Carly ... I happen to live here!" Carly wondered.

"So you're Spencer's little sister? Is he there?" Zoey asked.

"Speeencer!" Carly yelled at the top of her lungs, which was necessary as her elder brother was occupied with shaping a sculpture, which made him somewhat deaf.

Spencer turned around. "Oh, hi Socko, you've made it here!" Spencer beamed.

Zoey looked a bit annoyed. "Don't call me Socko! I'm Zoey," she insisted.

Spencer sighed in shame. "Sorry, the power of custom ..."

"This is Socko?" Carly asked Spencer. "She had always thought him - er her - male, and in Spencer's age, not much too young for him.

"Where's your little brother?" Spencer wondered.

"Dustin is having a dispute with some disgusting man down in the lobby," Zoey explained.

"That's Lewbert," Carly answered.

Dustin bounded in. He was slightly younger than Carly, Sam, or Freddie. He blushed when he saw Carly.

"He's a great fan of your webcast!" Zoey told Carly.

"Oh, that's great!" Carly smiled. "I may show you to our studio. Freddie and Sam should arrive any time."

Dustin beamed. "That would be great! My favourite segment is Mess with Lewbert."

**Searching for the Reasons**

When Dustin, Carly, Freddie, and Sam had disappeared upstairs, Zoey relaxed on Spencer's couch.

"Sorry," Spencer sighed. "I couldn't know that the weather ..."

"Nobody could," Zoey answered. "but it can't be natural!"

Spencer shrugged. "There must be some evil genius around that is able to control weather.

"I don't know any." Zoey sighed deeply. "But I know someone who might know about the possibilities: My science geek friend Quinn Pensky. She's from Seattle, by the way."

Spencer chuckled. "That'd be great!"

Zoey nodded when she pushed the buttons on her tek-mate. "Hi Quinn, this is Zoey,... Oh yeah, I know that it is pretty cold for July. ... That'd be wonderful!" Zoey smiled. "Quinn will come over here to tell us her theory. Usually, listening to Quinn's theory is awful, but it's our only chance ..." Zoey sighed deeply.

Spencer nodded. "We need to cling to any straw we may reach."

Then Zoey unpacked her collection of socks. "OK, this is the latest model," Zoey announced. "I didn't think it would be that cold over here, otherwised the socks would be longer."

Spencer sighed. "It's OK, I love your socks as they are." He admired the fanciful design and the flashing lights.

"By the way, the illumination had been invented by Quinn," Zoey admitted.

Spencer was still working on his sculpture. "Sometimes even geeks are good for something."

Zoey nodded in agreement when the bell rang.

Spencer opened the door, his hands full of glue. "You're Quinn, I guess?"

Quinn Pensky nodded. "OK, I have a theory about the events ..."

Spencer and Zoey could not understand what Quinn had been talking about.

"As nice as local weather control may sound," Quinn concluded her sermon, "it does have global effects, and those are out of control. In other words, whatever the guys who are behind the local blizzard are up to, it may lead to a climatic catastrophy, and I can't estimate when or where in the world ..."

Those prospects made Zoey and Spencer tremble in terror.

"A few years ago," Quinn sighed, "my arch rival Wayne Gilbert, who calls himself Firewire, came up with a system to influence the local weather."

"Arch rival?" Spencer wondered.

"Well," Zoey explained, "Wayne was the president of the science club of our boarding school. He didn't want girls to enter that club, in spite of Quinn being more than qualified." "What a moron!" Spencer shrugged.

"Wayne isn't that bad anymore," Quinn admitted. "Well, he was about making such a machine, but I've dissuaded him from using it once I've enlightened him about the uncontrollable perils."

Spencer and Zoey looked at each other. "I guess you should contact Firewire!"

Quinn pushed the buttons. "Hi Wayne ... OK, Firewire, we've got a problem. ... it is very cold out here in the snow ... you've built that machine to control local weather ... what? That is horrible! ...OK, we hope to hear from you!" Quinn's face froze for dismay. "Wayne's blueprints had been hacked six years ago. We don't know who's behind it. But whoever that is, he holds the key to world wide chaos and destruction!"

**Webcast in the Snow**

Freddie, Sam, Carly, and Dustin had decided to play in the snow, building more snowmen.

"Spencer could build wonderful ice sculptures." Carly sighed "I wish I had his gift."

Dustin comforted Carly. "I wish I had Zoey's talemt for fashion design. She enchanted everyone with it back at middle school."

Sam used one of the flashy multi-coloured socks as gloves for the snowman. "Now he doesn't look like a dorkward anymore."

Freddie was dismayed.

"OK," Carly announced. "It's time for our Independence day special webcast, live from frosty Seattle."

Freddie nodded. "Online in 5 ... 4 ... 3 ... 2 ... 1 ..."

Carly and Sam opened the cast, standing next to their snowman

"Today, one of our fans , Dustin , is with us." Carly waved.

Dustin smiled at Freddie's cam.

"It's for real!" Sam squealed. "Over eight inches of snow here in Seattle!"

"On Independence Day!" Carly squealed. "A historical moment!"

"The day is perfect for paying it back to dorwards!" Sam beamed as she threw a snowball into Freddie's face.

"Don't hit my equipment!" Freddie warned.

"Snowball battle!" Carly beamed. "Sam and I against Freddie and Dustin!"

The teenies had a lot of fun covering each other with snowballs.

Dustin had an idea. He whispered something into Carly's ear.

Carly nodded. "OK! Freddie, Sam, let's save our snowballs for ..."

The four teenies entered the lobby of Bushwell Plaza.

Carly counted. "Three ... two ... one ... Fire!"

Three garbs of snowballs came flying across the lobby, hitting Lewbert's face or missing narrowly.

"Mess with Lewbert!" the teenies screamed unison and ran away.

Freddie pushed a few buttons of his laptop. Suddenly, a face appeared on the screen that caused Freddie to cringe in terror.

"Do you rue the day, Carly?" Nevel Papperman screamed. "Do you rue it? Do you feel the dystopia?"

Carly was dismayed. "Nevel? What are you doing here?"

Freddie explained to Dustin who Nevel was and what he had already done to Carly.

"He did what?" Dustin screamed in anger. "Kiss Carly against her will?" He took an ice ball and wanted to fling it into the screen that displayed Nevel.

Freddie prevented him from doing so. "As sad as it is, hitting the screen won't hurt Nevel a bit!"

Dustin sighed.

Nevel had finally disappeared, and the four agreed that it had been the coolest Independence Day webcast ever, Nevel's warning notwithstanding. If he was at the bottom of the winter shock, it was all fun, nothing to rue."

**Hopeless**

The four teenagers entered the loft. Quinn was gone again.

"I wonder what is going on between your sister and my brother," Carly asked Dustin. "He's much too old for her!"

"She'll turn 21 this fall," Dustin explained and sighed. "I guess Spencer is like 30."

Carly nodded, disgusted by the thought of them kissing.

"I only know that rather hell will freeze over before I kiss a dorkward!" Sam bellowed.

"Are they always like that?" Dustin asked Carly.

"Always and ever!" Carly said that in a way thet sounds like couples promising eternal love. She chuckled sarcastically.

"Reminds me of grandma and grandad." Dustin snickered.

"I don't want to disappoint Sam," Spencer remarked, "but it seems like hell is freezing over!"

Zoey nodded. "Quinn says that someone must have manipulated the weather with a machine. And this could influence future weather around the world." "In a way that is not pleasant" Spencer added. "We could say, it's a dystopia!"

"Nevel!" Freddie squealed in disgust. "He must have played with the weather!"

Sam told Spencer of the Zoey about the event at the end of the show.

Then Spencer informed Zoey about Nevel Papperman. "He's insane!" Zoey sighed, "like Fu Manchu or Mabuse."

Spencer nodded. "Noone could ever stop him, whatever we tried. He had been imprisoned, in youth rehab, ... nothing worked." Carly nodded. "We better start ruing today," she sobbed, "for tomorrow, there may be no one left to rue it!

**Doom and Gloom**

**Sinai Billiard**

Megan Parker, a girl from San Diego that looked a lot like Carly Shay, was studying some sketches and beamed brightly.

"Hi sugardoll," Nevel told Megan, "our operation in Seattle has been a plain success."

Megan smiled at Nevel. "I told you thses plans by some Freakwire were great."

Nevel nodded, and so did Gibby and Reuben, their other henchmen.

"You know the story," Megan narrated, "when I turned the dorm of the boobs into a fridge? I've been following these same blueprints closely when I manipulated certain control devices."

"Boobs?" Gibby asked.

"Oh darling," Megan whispered sweetly into Gibby's direction, "the boobs are my brother Drake and my step-brother Josh."

"The boobs will rue the day!" Nevel confirmed. "Until dystopia!"

Reuben nodded. "Everyone will!"

"And what worked great in a single dorm, it's working now just fine in Seattle. Firedork must have been a genius. Too bad he fell off the path of virtue, down to that Penn Quinsky." Megan sighed.

"Quinn Pensky!" Nevel corrected. "But OK, you've saved the blueprints, and that's all what counts, your Majesty Princess Kaguya!"

Gibby and Reuben nodded.

"So may we repeat the same thing on a bigger scale, causing the earth to freeze over?" Gibby asked.

"We won't need to," Nevel explained.

Reuben and Gibby looked oddly at Nevel and Megan.

Nevel explained. "Even fairly small perturbations of the local climatic equilibrium may have major global consequences,"

"Ah , I see," Gibby boomed, "as in the Sinai billiard."

Nevel explained unto Megan and Reuben this simple yet expressive example of chaos theory: The path of a light beam in a room with a bunch of curved mirrors, especially concave mirrors, is highly unstable. Arbitrarily small deviations of the initial data lead to large deviations after some finite time. "So probably all we need to do is sit back and wait!"

Megan, Gibby, and Reuben beamed brightly in anticipation of the general dystopia.

Nevel went back to his piano, playing an apocalyptic tune from a romantic requiem.

Megan took her oboe and played along, making Gibby and Reuben sing.

Quantus tremor est futurus  
Quando iudex est venturus  
Cuncta stricte discussurus

**Thawing up**

Quinn and Firewire had been successfully looking for the devices that had lead to Seattle freezing over.

"That was the last one," Firewires sighed in relief.

Quinn wiped her sweaty forehead. Inspite of the low teampurature, she had been transpiring all over for anxiety and fear.

"Fortunately, you always have your toolbox on you." Firewire remarked.

Quinn nodded when she closed her shoes which held a bunch of tools. "Do you know that I have sic toes on ..."

Firewire nodded. "I always wondered why you don't have six toes on each of your feet."

Quinn shrugged. "That's OK, I don't know either."

Firewire grabbed Quinn's right foot while she was still adjusting her shoes. He removed the sock, similar to the ones of Spencer, and started to caress her superfluous toe.

"Wayne!" Quinn grinned and chuckled uncontrollably. "What are you doing?"

"Sorry!" Firewire shrugged. "I just couldn't resist."

"That's OK," Quinn smiled. "Oh, why don't you insist in being called Firewire instead of Wayne?"

Firewire blushed. "Er ... because ..." He shrugged helplessly. "Being with you for three days straight has made me feel all fuzzy and stuff."

Quinn nodded. "Same here. I love solving technical problems with you," she had to admit, "your former abrasive attitude notwithstanding." She pulled Firewire in for an affectionate hug.

The spontaneous heat between them could figuratively have caused Seattle to thaw up. It took a few more days for the horror to be over. But Quinn and Firewire had no glue what effect the few ice days in Seattle would have globally on the long run.

**iDon't Mind**

Zoey and Dustin had to say good-bye to Spencer and Carly.

"See us soon again!" Zoey whispered into Spencer's direction. She couldn't help pulling him in for a kiss.

Spencer smiled and kissed her back. "I love you, Socko, er, Zoey!"

Dustin was dismayed. "Since when are you doing this?" he yelled angrily at her.

"Since today, honestly!" Zoey replied. "I've never met Spencer in person until this week, and I've only chatted with him about fashion and arts. Only by going through all this trouble together made us recognise that ..." Zoey blushed too much to continue talking.

Carly looked at Dustin.

"She's not lying!" Dustin said.

Carly nodded. "It's plausible. Oh well! This will make something easier for us." Carly pulled Dustin in for an affectionate huggle, making him blush, but she blushed as well.

Just a few days earlier, Zoey and Spencer would have protested, but after their own scene, they were no longer in a position to judge their siblings of eighteen years.

"Awwww!" Freddie and Sam went unison. "How sweet!" They looked at each other and couldn't help any longer confessing something they wouldn't have dared to confess unless Carly and Dustin had given them an expample to follow.

"Freddie," Sam had to admit, "when an apocalyptic blizzard comes and covers us for good with some mile of snow, I don't mind as long as we are together."

Freddie sighed when he took Sam into an embrace that could melt all the snow in the world.

_**The End**_


End file.
